An elderly man is driving his (silver) Vectra down the M1 motorway when his wife calls him on his mobile phone.

“Albert,” she says, “please be careful when you’re driving back. I just heard on the radio that there’s a maniac on the M1 in a Vectra (silver). He’s driving the wrong way!”

“It’s not just one,” Albert replies, “there’s f---ing hundreds of them!”