Comedy conversation

**Grumpy1954** · 12th May 2011, 19:02

I went up the local exotics pet shop yesterday - to meet the man who was servicing the Vec, also owns the shop. While I was waiting, got chatting to the day to day manager, a friend, who has a second job as nightclub doorman, into martial arts, cage fighting amd wants to qualify as an armed bodyguard. Enter his work experience lad, looked about 14 and a few bricks short of a load. My friend has a Mk 4 (fatboy) Golf V5 2.5ltr, I have a Vectra hatch.
First thing the lad says is all VW's are crap and Golf's are the worst, otherwise any hatchbacks suck. We asked what car he though was good, got told the MX5 is the perfect sports car. When we's stopped laughing, he explained his sister has one, and reckons it'll beat anything on the road on any type of road (obviously not met Spoons yet), followed by the Audi TT which hasn't got the appalling build of the VW make.
My friend pointed out that the VAG also make Audi's,, Seat's and Skoda's - he didn't know that.
So he announced my friend was going into a stupid job, he was going into a job with real money, as an RAF engineer, where he'll get free food and accomodation, won't have to go or do anyhting dangerous, work in a nice, safe, warm place and earn a shedload of money. If "asked" to go overseas he could refuse as he doesn't have to go anywhere he doesn't want.
I asked him who'd told him all this "his mate". I asked if he's ever heard the phrase, "if you can't take a joke, don't join up". He hadn't, but said that's fine as he likes a laugh. God help him if he does join, basics will kill him!

**ed taylor** · 12th May 2011, 19:05

"oh" the youth of today "eh".

**Derek Mc** · 12th May 2011, 19:43

Oh dear oh dear, not the brightest bulb on the tree for sure,,,,,,

**RobW** · 12th May 2011, 19:47

Seems like he is not the brightest sandwich in the toolbox.

'You don't have to go anywhere you don't want'?? lol! Tell that to the heroes serving on the front line in Afghanistan!!

**Penfold101** · 12th May 2011, 20:10

I can say no???? Damn - I've been going overseas for ages when I didn't have to! And where's my shedload of money, free food and accomodation?????

I demand answers!!!!!!

**Derek Mc** · 12th May 2011, 20:29

Originally Posted by Penfold101

I can say no???? Damn - I've been going overseas for ages when I didn't have to! And where's my shedload of money, free food and accomodation?????

I demand answers!!!!!!

I guess they left that clause out of your contract then,,,,,,, Hmmm is there a clause about not having to fight battles for inept politicians overseas too,,,,,

**GARY3306** · 12th May 2011, 20:47

I got an email off my boss the other day, asking if its ok if a work experience lad comes to work in my workshop for a fortnight. I CANNOT wait

The storeman has been primed already to expect the requests for long stands, a glass hammer etc lol

**Grumpy1954** · 12th May 2011, 20:48

I did try to tell him you DO have to pay for food and accomodation, you DO have to go where you're told, ie I went out on Crusader 80 as part of the HQ det of a helicopter squadron, got sent with half a dozen others (you you and you, get you're gear) to sit in a pig field with a GPMG watching apath no one had noticed. He wouldn't listen.
I bet his DI's will have fun with him, if he gets that far.
Afterwards, he tried lecturing a man who is the UK expert on venomous snakes and who has breeding pairs of King Cobra's, rattlesnakes and various other cobras on how to handle a corn snake hatchling, which the lad himself was scared to touch - D'oh