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Thread: Snow story

  1. #1
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    Trim : SXi

    Engine : 2.2


    Default Snow story

    Got sent this by the missus

    DEC 20th
    It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've
    seen for years the wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on theporch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the treesand covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
    DEC 24th
    We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow coveringas far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered witha beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever andloved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement.Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up ourdriveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I wavedback and shovelled it away again.The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyesand a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couple just
    missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in their fun.
    DEC 26th
    It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature
    dropped around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and
    bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again.Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Muchof snow is now a brownish-grey.
    JAN 1st
    Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon becameice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on me arse in the driveway.
    Went to a physio but nothing was broken.
    JAN 5th
    Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
    work. She slid into a wall and didconsiderable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of whitesh*** last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slushThat b ****** snowplough came by twice today. Where's that ******shovel?!
    JAN 9th
    More f***king snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn'tbeen damaged.Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from
    freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped overand nearly torched the f ***ing house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on myhands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a f ***ing deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
    JAN 13th
    F ****ing b ****** white s ***e just keeps on coming down.
    Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box.
    The little ***** next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back- I'll shove that carrot so far up the little p***s arse it'll take agood surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch the a**hole that drives the snowplough I'll chewopen his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the b ****** hides around
    the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down thestreet like Michael "f***ing" Schumacher and buries the f***ing driveway again.
    JAN 14th
    16 more sodding inches of f***ing snow and f ***ing ice and f***ing sleet and god knows what other white s**** fell last night.
    I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice-pick. Can' t move my f ****ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more f ***ing snow forecast.
    F*** THIS, I'M MOVING

  2. #2
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    Default

    brilliant

  3. #3
    Regular Member Sean-2.2Direct's Avatar
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    Thats brilliant mate so funny

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