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Thread: Ronnie Barkers Cinderella

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Default Ronnie Barkers Cinderella

    If you can read this without laughing, you must be devoid of laughter cells......












    This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.

    The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
    The speed of delivery must have been too much
    for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......

    This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.






    Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying posspits, and shivelling shot.
    At the end of the day, she wasknuckingfackered.The sugly isters were right bugly astards.. One wascalled Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
    The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
    the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.



    Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

    At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse overollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.



    The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
    on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters lethim in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
    off a fig bart."Who'sfust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince."Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

    When the stinking brown cloud had lifted,he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
    Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
    a hig bard on.He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

    Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!
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    ... or you could search for rindercellar

    http://www.vectra-c.com/forum/search...archid=3958445

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    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vxvirgin View Post
    ... or you could search for rindercellar

    http://www.vectra-c.com/forum/search...archid=3958445
    OOOOOPS!!!!! Silly me I should have searched first to make sure no one else had posted it. Doh!
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    Default Don't think this was Ronnie Barker

    Before I say anything else - this is awesome! Nearly wet meself
    Unfortunately though, I don't think it was Ronnie Barker - can't find any corroborative evidence on the net to prove it was him - there's just the same text posted in different places.
    Have found this though, from America in the 50/60's by the looks of things:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJv_Y...eature=related
    No swearing, but still funny!
    I'm gutted I couldn't find Ronnie doing it, cos he would have been awesome!!!

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    Regular Member padawun's Avatar
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    That is proper, after a carp way at dork, I need a lood gaugh, even if
    this is a repost.

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