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Thread: Smart Assed Answer Of The Year

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Signum

    Trim : Elite

    Engine : 3.2 v6

    Year : 2004

    Mileage : 110,000

    Default Smart Assed Answer Of The Year

    >
    > > 6th Place
    > >
    > > It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
    > >
    > > 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in
    > > the front row.
    > >
    > > 'What are my choices?' the man asked.
    > >
    > > 'Yes or no,' she replied.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 5th Place
    > >
    > > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
    > > tickets.
    > >
    > > As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
    > > opened his trench coat and flashed her.
    > >
    > > Without blinking an eyelid she said,
    > >
    > > 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 4th Place
    > >
    > > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
    > > Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
    > >
    > > She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    > >
    > > The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 3rd Place
    > >
    > > The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he
    > > stopped for speeding.
    > >
    > > 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.
    > >
    > > The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'
    > >
    > > When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his
    > > way without a ticket.
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > 2nd Place
    > >
    > > A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.
    > >
    > > A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.'
    > >
    > > Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck
    > > under it.
    > >
    > > Cars are backed up for miles.
    > >
    > > Finally, a police car comes up.
    > >
    > > The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab
    > >
    > > And said to the driver,
    > >
    > > 'Got stuck, he?'
    > >
    > > The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
    > > of petrol!'
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > >
    > > SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009
    > >
    > > A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's
    > > final exam.
    > >
    > > 'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
    > > tomorrow.
    > >
    > > I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
    > > illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
    > > excuses whatsoever!'
    > >
    > >
    > > A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
    > >
    > >
    > > 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and
    > > utter sexual exhaustion?'
    > >
    > > The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
    > >
    > > When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
    > > student, shook her head and sweetly said,
    > >
    > >
    > > 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  2. #2
    Full Member neverlandandy's Avatar
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    Default

    quality lol

  3. #3
    Regular Member tramman's Avatar
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    Superb

  4. #4
    VIP-Member brifen's Avatar
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    Engine : 2.0 DTI 100 bhp

    Year : 2003

    Default



    like em.

    Bri.
    Today!! The new tomorrow, live the NOW!!

  5. #5
    Regular Member GSi-Col's Avatar
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    Default

    lol

  6. #6
    Regular Member simplesi's Avatar
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    givvin it big laughs here thats QUALITY

  7. #7
    Full Member Vaux-Man-G's Avatar
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    Default

    That was superb!!!



    Bye bye Vec B
    - Hello Siggy!

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