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Thread: The rules !!!

  1. #1
    Forum Moderator FIL 4822's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Insignia VX-line RED Tourer

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    Default The rules !!!

    We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    Here are OUR rules..............

    Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE !

    1. Breasts are for looking at and thats why we do it. Don't try to change that.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Saturday = SPORTS. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is BLACKMAIL.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: subtle hints don't work ! Strong hints don't work ! Obvious hints don't work ! Just say it !

    1. YES and NO are perfectly good answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like windows defaults settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask whats wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sport and cars.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes i know i have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

    Pass this onto as many men as you know, give them a laugh.
    Pass this onto as many women as you know, give them an education !



    Have consideration for the deaf, if you're gunna fart, make it smell !


  2. #2
    Regular Member Happy Girl's Avatar
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    Default

    I suppose most of it is true

  3. #3
    Forum Moderator soulman's Avatar
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    Default

    well i think number 1 is correct

  4. #4
    Regular Member Tadpole's Avatar
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    Works for me .......................

  5. #5
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    Default

    Right on the button! - had me in tears - copied for the wife, I think she'll see the funny side - I hope...

  6. #6
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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    I like that,very good.......

  7. #7
    Regular Member badback's Avatar
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    Default

    Spot on in my world mate.

  8. #8
    Regular Member neilybhoy1888's Avatar
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    Default

    should show ma ex wife this lol

  9. #9
    Regular Member WeDesign's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by soulman View Post
    well i think number 1 is correct
    I'll go along with that all day long

  10. #10
    Regular Member John C S's Avatar
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    Default

    Quality

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