...taken from B*rryB*ys, where swearing isn't covered up. As such, the swear filter in this post will be working overtime, and as such if the mods or admin feel it appropriate to delete this thread, I have no issues with that...
It just made me giggle...
Barryboys Forum FAQ
Login and Registration Issues> Registration Issues
Why can't I log in?
You're a retard. It's the only possible explanation.
Why do I need to register at all?
**** knows. We don't want you. You're probably ginger.
Why do I get logged off automatically?
No one likes you. Maybe you're French, that could be it.
How do I prevent my username from appearing in the online user listings?
Don't sign up. We don't want you, I think it's mentioned somewhere...
I've lost my password!
I registered but cannot log in!
Are you ginger? Or French?
I registered in the past but cannot log in anymore!
We probably didn't like you.
User Preferences and settings
How do I change my settings?
Stop being ginger.
The times are not correct!
So Dylan was wrong. The times, they ain't a changin'.
I changed the timezone and the time is still wrong!
So, you're too cheap to buy a ****ing watch, eh?
My language is not in the list!
We only speak 'foul' here, and certainly not French.
How do I show an image below my username?
Take a ****ing picture, I don't know.
How do I change my rank?
There are several ways: mostly though, buying an MX-5 seems to be the best way.
When I click the email link for a user it asks me to log in.
Good. Now, do you have a question?
How do I post a topic in a forum?
Wow, how new are you to the internet?
How do I edit or delete a post?
Start your own ****ing website, that's how.
How do I add a signature to my post?
Wait until I post something funny.
How do I create a poll?
Don't. This is not a democracy.
How do I edit or delete a poll?
See 'How do I edit or delete a post?'
Why can't I access a forum?
Who knows, maybe you're ginger. Or French.
Why can't I vote in polls?
See 'How do I create a poll?'
Formatting and Topic Types
What is BBCode?
Knowing when to shut the **** up.
Can I use HTML?
I don't know, can you?
What are Smileys?
Stupid little ****ing pictures that take the place of literacy and the craft of written expression.
Quite useful, actually.
Can I post Images?
Only of your norks.
What are Announcements?
Exactly what we tell you they are.
What are Sticky topics?
Anything started by Rob_BC.
What are Locked topics?
Anything started by you.
User Levels and Groups
What are Administrators?
Humourless front bottoms, usually purple, who will post a condescending reply to your first post then lock it. Unless they drive an MX-5 (which, come to think of it, is most of them), in which case, they'll just **** off to a pub somwhere in the middle of nowhere and have a ****-up.
What are Moderators?
Those front bottoms who insist on explaining what a 'unit of alcohol' is.
What are Usergroups?
cost-minimised basic transportation device fanbois.
How do I join a Usergroup?
Buy a cost-minimised basic transportation device.
How do I become a Usergroup Moderator?
Insist that Rovers are the epitome of automotive design. We won't argue, promise.
I cannot send private messages!
Who would you want to send them to? you have no friends. You're ginger, remember? Or french.
I keep getting unwanted private messages!
Serves you right for posting pictures of your norks.
I have received a spamming or abusive email from someone on this board!
Pfft. Who hasn't?
phpBB 2 Issues
Who wrote this bulletin board?
Shakespeare. Who gives a ****?
Why isn't X feature available?
Which one is he? Is he the one that's doing Halle Berry?
Whom do I contact about abusive and/or legal matters related to this board?
Oh, just about anyone. We can be as abusive as you like. Legal matters must be referred to Clive, you can e-mail him at clive @ barryboys.co.uk but don't count on him giving a ****.
We hope this FAQ section has been helpful (in persuading you to **** off and never come back).