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Thread: Shocking News @ Spoons'

  1. #1
    On a Sabbatical VauxVeteran's Avatar
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    Default Shocking News @ Spoons'

    Today while attempting to repair his facia boards, Steve aka *Spoons VXRD* had a big fright at as the ladder he was on was kicked away from under him by a group of yob Grasshoppers from Dagenham who'd been out on a stag night the night before, apparently Steve had been recognised by one of the group and pointed out that he was the one that murdered several of the grasshopper's family in a field at Billing recently, it seems they were sunbathing that day on an earth mound when they were violently all run over by a black Vectra.

    Luckily for Steve as he fell the postman was delivering his mail but had dropped todays post just at the spot Steve landed, Steve brushing himself down was heard to say ... Jezzus I've never been so happy to get speeding summons' and twenty parking ticket's all at the same time, sadly the box containing the roof mount boomerang spoiler that was the VXRD's next mod never made it, Steve's body weight had totally shattered the box and it's contents, but all the same nobody was heard complaining.

    The perp hopper when arrested had this to say .... I don't read Total Vauxhall so I don't care, he murdered my bro and his girlfriend and I wanted to even it up and he ain't off the hook cos we been on the blower to our Yankee cuz's who as we speak are flying over with some hard hitting Locusts that drink with them.

    As insect justice moves a lot quicker than it's human version, in court this afternoon Steve was given a stern warning by Judge C Ricket and told to look where he was going next time, several hopper witnesses had to be restrained as passions flared, one was heard to say ... he walks free our friends are dead, this year alone he's killed 5000 housefly's including 6 visiting flies from Greece who'd only stopped at the roadside Turdger King for a quick bite to eat on their way to the Horse Hair Hotel in a field near the M25.

    Steve was unavailable for comment, but iI'm sure he will shortly.

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    Regular Member dazzer t's Avatar
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    Vectra-C Obsessed Poster Drinky's Avatar
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    Good to see you still on form VV crackin that is !!!!!

    Back in a V6 !!!!!!!!!!!! And lovin it !!!

  4. #4
    spoons
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    It wasnt my decision Justice C Ricket - your honour. I was carrying out instructions passed down from the Guru.

    The grasshoppers had already had notice !! - receiving a summons only 1 week earlier to be evicted from said field in an attempt to curb their illegal residence.

    Acting on behalf of the Guru, I was sent to billing to restore order in the field only to find a grasshopper rebellion group purched on a single earth mound taking complete control over the immediate vacinity.

    Resistance was futile, with instructions to take no prisoners my actions were carried out, all grasshoppers were mowed down with a single 19" VXR blade.. some escaped between the tread pattern, but the rear 19" VXR blade moved in on the remaining wounded.

    Calateral Damage is part of any confrontation, and order was restored at the Billing field so my mission and objectives were completed under instruction.

    I cannot take responsibility for the 'grasshopper gate' incident and point your attention firmly at the door of the GURU..

    I demand political asylum, new identity and $5,000,000
    Last edited by spoons; 26th July 2007 at 20:13.

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    Ex-Staff Full Member Ian T's Avatar
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    pmsl at you lot

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    Ex Vec-C Admin / Founder Duncan's Avatar
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    Regular Member sonic's Avatar
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    VV, Spoons, seriously guys...GET HELP!!!

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    Regular Member BlueRob's Avatar
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    VV you defo need some vacations mate

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    Regular Member kgsric's Avatar
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    vv, what an imagination you'v got, you must be ****ed to come up with stuff like that

  10. #10
    On a Sabbatical VauxVeteran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoons View Post
    It wasnt my decision Justice C Ricket - your honour. I was carrying out instructions passed down from the Guru.
    Resistance was futile, with instructions to take no prisoners my actions were

    Oh that's right, blame Spikey wontcha


    Quote Originally Posted by kgsric View Post
    vv, what an imagination you'v got, you must be ****ed to come up with stuff like that

    I think so, but the folks seem to like it anyway

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