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Thread: Gates vs GM

  1. #1
    Regular Member Dose's Avatar
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    Default Gates vs GM

    Seen this on another site aybe a repost?

    Gates vs. GM

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

    "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
    Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  2. #2
    Regular Member ade0303's Avatar
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    Default

    I like this

  3. #3
    Regular Member ditchp's Avatar
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    Default

    superb.....pmsl
    Midlands Mod Shop - NFFC.

  4. #4
    Regular Member stusdc's Avatar
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    Default

    repost... i think that is about two years older than grass!!! still funny tho...

  5. #5
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    thought so couldnt be assed looking lol

  6. #6
    Ex Vec-C Admin Stevel's Avatar
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    Default

    Last posted 2007. It's at the bottom of the page. The Search function found it itself. lol.

  7. #7
    spoons
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    Default

    You missed out all these parts.....

    If GM had ran its business model like Microsoft....

    Then GM would own 90% of all the oil fields in the world and would have its own brand of Petrol which you would have to use, or your car would not function and would void your warrantee.

    GM would also own 90% of all the roads and motorways in the world and you could only use their roads. Illegal use of other roads would void your warrantee.

    GM would insist that the remaining 10% roads not owned by GM were 'fair trading' conditions for other road owners to grow and offer a competitive service. However, they were not authorised to link to any of the major road networks offered by GM. Any attempt to 'copy' the GM major road network would be met with a severe legal and environmental litigation costing £Billions and taking years to defend, resulting in a non starter.

    Nearly every car on the planet would be a GM product and all other cars would not be compatible with their fuel or road system, but would still be considered fair trading conditions.

    Each car would cost £15000 and GM would decide when its obsolete and force an ECU upgrade every 3 years costing £5000 to ensure that everyone ran the same model.
    Last edited by spoons; 18th February 2009 at 01:33.

  8. #8
    Regular Member big rich's Avatar
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    Default

    verygood

  9. #9
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    Default

    and very old too.

  10. #10
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    1992 is calling, it REALLY wants it's joke back.

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