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Thread: Time for a divorce?

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    Regular Member bobby-tupper's Avatar
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    Default Time for a divorce?

    your opinions please... im in what you may call in no mans land at the moment at home married 3yrs but dont know if i should be anymore. would you stay unhappy/peed off and hope things get better or just do one and walk away. (i might add i have no kids)

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    Only you can answer that question ,but i would say dont rush into making any decisions why dont you have a long chat with the wife first.

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    Regular Member bobby-tupper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicj View Post
    Only you can answer that question ,but i would say dont rush into making any decisions why dont you have a long chat with the wife first.
    have been down that route i must have to say i get a better response from my 3yr old akita

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    As you have no kids, walk mate, nothing worse than an unhappy relationship, I think I know where your coming from regarding the reasons behind the split thought, if you feel you've said all you can and met a wall for answer's, the walk will be like getting parole early.

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    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    If it was me in that position and i had tried everything to make the relationship work and was still not happy i would walk ,only live once and i think i would rather be single and happy than miserable in a relationship but thats only my view..

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    Regular Member WeDesign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicj View Post
    If it was me in that position and i had tried everything to make the relationship work and was still not happy i would walk ,only live once and i think i would rather be single and happy than miserable in a relationship but thats only my view..

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    I'm 20 months into my 2 year seperation so am a bit ahead of you at the moment. I was with her for 10 years, married for 7.

    You must have loved her and been happy at some point so I wouldn't give up just yet, however like people have said, there's no point being in a relationship where you are not happy.

    But just to end it is a bit harsh. Maybe she is unhappy too but doesn't/can't express the reasons why.

    I'd sit her down and tell her how serious you leaving has got and that if she wants the marriage to work then she HAS to agree to marriage counciling. Look up "Relate". They charge for their time but it's on a donation basis. It's cheaper in the long term than going through a divorce.

    You may find that something small that you both won't talk about has ballooned into something huge.

    If that doesn't work or she refuses to try, then you can leave with a clear conscience that you tried everything.

    HTH

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    I think he's already tried that, by the sound of things she might be trying for a split but doesn't know how to do it, or she might just be one of those unbudgable my way or no way types.

    If you do split, remember why if you ever get the old heavy heart syndrome, get's rid of all the pain in one go, the rose tints cause it, but you forget about all the stuff that led to the split, this is the part to remember if the tint enters your mind.

  10. #10
    spoons
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobby-tupper View Post
    your opinions please... im in what you may call in no mans land at the moment at home married 3yrs but dont know if i should be anymore. would you stay unhappy/peed off and hope things get better or just do one and walk away. (i might add i have no kids)
    I would strongly suggest that you find a way of talking with your wife and ascertain what is troubling her, if your marriage can be saved, then that is definately the right way forward.. and good luck.

    However, if things are not working out you may wish to assess your financial position first. Get legal advice so you know what is at risk before you start using the word 'divorce'.

    Once the divorce 'ball' starts rolling be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster... and the financial 'blastoff' ... you know... the sort that NASA would be proud of !!

    I personally think there should be more support to save marriages in distress, but unfortunately we live in a "if its broke, replace it" society... nobody is prepared to fix things anymore ... and dont expect much help from the people around you, as some people seem to feed off other peoples drama ! ... and it makes them feel better if your done down.
    Last edited by spoons; 10th February 2009 at 16:09.

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