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Thread: Air force Maintenance

  1. #1
    On a Sabbatical
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    Default Air force Maintenance

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before next flight.

    (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

    (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
    (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

    (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
    (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

    (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid,
    (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

    (P) Something loose in cockpit
    (S) Something tightened in cockpit

    (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
    (S) Evidence removed

    (P) DME volume unbelievably loud
    (S) Volume set to more believable level

    (P) Dead bugs on windshield
    (S) Live bugs on order

    (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
    (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

    (P) IFF inoperative
    (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

    (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
    (S) That's what they're there for

    (P) Number three engine missing
    (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

    (P) Aircraft handles funny
    (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right", and be serious

    (P) Target Radar hums
    (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words

    (P) UHF Radio Intermittent.
    (S) R2 Pilot. (R2 = remove and replace)

    (P) Radio will not operate in official mode. (OFF)
    (S) Short between Headsets.

  2. #2
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    Norfolk 'n Good Drives : Signum 3.0 CDTi BHP : 229.8 Torque 344.9lb
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    Default

    check out snope - as I've had similar emails.....

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, recently submitted by QANTAS Pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Problem - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    Solution - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    Problem - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    Solution - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    Problem - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    Solution - No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

    Problem - Something loose in cockpit.
    Solution - Something tightened in cockpit.

    Problem - Dead bugs on windshield.
    Solution - Live bugs on backorder.

    Problem - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    Solution - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    Problem - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    Solution - Evidence removed.

    Problem - DME volume unbelievably loud.
    Solution - Volume set to more believable level.

    Problem - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    Solution - That's what they are there for!

    Problem - IFF inoperative.
    Solution - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    Problem - Suspected crack in windscreen.
    Solution - Suspect you're right.

    Problem - Number 3 engine missing.
    Solution - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    Problem - Aircraft handles funny.
    Solution - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

    Problem - Target radar hums.
    Solution - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

    Problem - Mouse in cockpit.
    Solution - Cat installed.

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