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Thread: Anger Management

  1. #1
    Regular Member Tadpole's Avatar
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    Default Anger Management

    I got this email today and figured I'd share it. Kind of long, but
    fairly amusing.


    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk around 11 a.m. when I remembered a phone call
    I'd forgotten to make.

    I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

    I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
    Carter?'

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Go to hell and get the
    right f*** ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
    Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
    transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an ******* !' and
    hung up.
    I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
    a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an ******* !' It
    always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ******* calling
    would have to stop.

    So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
    telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
    ID Program?'

    He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for.
    I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
    idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I
    wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his
    number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******,
    too. By now I had a cell phone with a blocked number.

    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes, it
    is...' I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I
    live at
    34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car is
    parked right out in front.'

    I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

    Then I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home
    every evening after five.'

    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?' He said, 'Yes?' I said,
    Don, you're an *******!'

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
    had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

    Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1. He said, 'Hello.' I
    said, 'You're an *******!' (But I didn't hang up.)

    He asked, 'Are you still there?' I said, 'Yeah.' He screamed, 'Stop
    calling me!' I said, 'Make me.' He asked, 'Who are you?'

    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.' He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?' I
    said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax, a yellow rambler,
    I have a black Beemer parked in front.'

    He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers.' I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******,'
    and hung up.

    Then I called ******* No. 2. He said, 'Hello?' I said, 'Hello, *******
    .'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...' I said, 'You'll what?' He
    exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass!' I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your
    chance because I'm coming over right now.'

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
    34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, and that my gay lover was on his way over
    to kill me.

    Then I called television Channel 4 WRC News about the gang war going
    down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just
    in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in
    front of six cop cars, nine cops, an overhead news helicopter and
    surrounded by a news crew.

    Now I feel much better.

    Anger management works .....

  2. #2
    Regular Member big rich's Avatar
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    Default

    i will read it when i get time lol

  3. #3
    Regular Member mattolly86's Avatar
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    thats brilliant i cant believe how funny that was i were crying to myself for 5mins lol

  4. #4
    Regular Member Happy Girl's Avatar
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    Default

    It was a long read but it was worth it

  5. #5
    Regular Member big rich's Avatar
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    it was very good m8 lol

  6. #6
    Regular Member Avenged's Avatar
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    Default

    hahaha!!!

  7. #7
    Regular Member fenderguitar's Avatar
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    Very good,I know the feeling

  8. #8
    Regular Member Sean-2.2Direct's Avatar
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    That is the best idea ever thank you very much for giving me it next person to **** me off is getting it

  9. #9
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    brilliant

  10. #10
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    Sat here absolutely PMSL - very good.

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