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Thread: Can't wait to move out - Dad and brother driving me mad!!!

  1. #1
    Regular Member Vid's Avatar
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    Default Can't wait to move out - Dad and brother driving me mad!!!

    Sorry guys I need to vent some fury here!

    Got back from work today, dad and brother have both had the day off, dad was out, but my brother came up to me and said that he and dad had been talking and all the crap they have up the loft, they want to sell it on e-bay before xmas. I said yeah, I wonder who is going to do that then? As it was said like they already expect I will do it.

    When dad comes back, he mentions he has been speaking to my brother to which I say that he has already made it sound like everything has been decided and that is that. I tell dad there is no reason he can't do it, but he doesn't have an account is the reply. Well he can make one I tell him, at which point my dad tells me what an attitude I have and I don't want to do anything for anybody lately (this is 2 minutes after I go and put my car away in a garage around the corner after keeping him a space on our communal car park since I got back from work and I do this nearly every night for him or my brother).

    Why is it one child always gets s*it on while the other gets away with everything. I mean he gets sandwiches made for him (I have done this complex task myself since I was about 10) and other general crap which I won't bore you all with, he's 23 for crying out loud, can't he start doing some things for himself.

    Thank god my house is being built and I can move out soon!! I hate living at home as I only live with my dad and brother, I can't have an opinion with my dad, I can't stand up for myself like I tried to tonight because he goes in a mont for days on end! (I sound like a teenager I know, but living here makes me feel like one!!!)

    I probably wouldn't have chosen this time in the country's current economic situation to buy a house, but I am 25 now and I just can't stand living with them any more!

    Is anyone else in the same situation?

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    Full Member merikiito's Avatar
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    Remember when you went the wrong way down the motorway, bet you wished you had carrried on south now!

    Bite your tongue mate and count the days to your move. Once out you can do your own thing and it will be like a new life starting over again. Try not to fall out with your family if you can as one day you might need them. I have a middle younger bro (I am the older brother of 3) who can be a pain in the arse esp after a drink, but hay ho he is me brother and when he's needed he does come running even tho I have to pick him up as he doesn't drive!

    Hows the car???
    Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
    Peter Griffin: Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?

  3. #3
    Regular Member steve1975l's Avatar
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    My Dad was the same until I moved out. Now me asks my advice on DIY and we get on much better.

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    No I'm not in that position, but I feel for you matey, I'm getting on now 66yrs, I've seen my own kids grow into adulthood, and I'm sure at times it may have appeared to one or the other that I was showing favouritism. It may have depended on what interests or fads I was going though at the time, and which of them may have shared a similar interest. Other than that I have always taken great care to avoid any favouritism with any of the 3, mainly because of my own experiences with my own parents when I was young.
    I was the eldest of 3 lads, and 4 years older than my brother, who was always my mums favourite, with the youngest brother being next.
    I had to do all the chores, cleaning, fetching etc. had to leave school at 14 and start work while they were allowed to go to grammer school etc. I think Dad probably showed less favouritism than my mother but certainly looking back I felt I was picked on more, and got blamed for things I never did, because my brothers could do no wrong.
    Ironically as time passed it was my wife and I again who mainly looked after my parents in later life especially my mum when they were unable to look after themselves. I had bought their house for them back in the mid eighties, (they lived there rent free) so later, we had mom live with us for about 5 years, I split the monies from the house with her so she had money of her own.
    Her face would always light up whenever my brother phoned, it didn't really bother me too much, well yes it did just a bit. She passed away.. bless her about 3 years ago, she left all the money she had remaining about 25k all to the middle brother, I would'nt have minded so much if I hadn't have given it to her in the first place.... such is life..LOL

    You only get one set of parents matey, and at times you may feel unjustly treated, but I would give every penny I have to have both of them back. I'm sure your Dad is not even aware that he, in your eyes anyway is treating you unfairly, I gather its just your Dad, yourself and your brother, so possibly your dad has had to undergo some suffering in some ways too, may not have been easy for him at times. Bear with him matey... remember what I said.. you only ever have one Dad, and as you said, perhaps, moving out and building a life of your own may not be a bad idea, you will find you will get on much better when not under the same roof.
    Best wishes to you, hope things sort themselves out.

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    Regular Member Vid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merikiito View Post
    Remember when you went the wrong way down the motorway, bet you wished you had carrried on south now!

    Hows the car???
    LOL, are you never going to let me forget?

    Car is brill thanks mate

    Quote Originally Posted by Cameron43 View Post
    You only get one set of parents matey, and at times you may feel unjustly treated, but I would give every penny I have to have both of them back. I'm sure your Dad is not even aware that he, in your eyes anyway is treating you unfairly, I gather its just your Dad, yourself and your brother, so possibly your dad has had to undergo some suffering in some ways too, may not have been easy for him at times. Bear with him matey... remember what I said.. you only ever have one Dad, and as you said, perhaps, moving out and building a life of your own may not be a bad idea, you will find you will get on much better when not under the same roof.
    Best wishes to you, hope things sort themselves out.
    Thanks for your reply Cameron, what you say makes sense, and from the sound of it, you received some quite unfair treatment!

    He has sacrificed a lot to bring me and my brother up, and I do appreciate it. He keeps on he doesn't want a fuss made about his 50th, but I am going to surprise him with some tickets to a Liverpool match, who he has always supported, but never been to a game, with us living in the West Mids it is a decent trip, but I am going to take him. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have been able to afford the deposit for my house in the first place so I do owe him an awful lot!

    I have calmed down now, but we still haven't spoken again yet, I'm sure we will at some point tomorrow night?? LOL!! I just get cheesed off at my brother really, he knows he is stirring it and does nothing but arselick!!

    Thank you for the replies!

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    Admin plasma's Avatar
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    Was in a very similar situation to where Vid is living with his dad and brother... Was in a similar situation where i used to live with my dad when my mum passed away a few years ago.. Never really got on with him when we was a complete family unit. Was looking to move out before my mum was taking ill and that put the kibosh on things.. Stayed with my dad while he went through the tuff time, moved with him to another house etc etc... rather than just go my own way i made time to spend with him each evening.. It all got a bit too much for me at one point not knowing what to expect coming home each evening... Had a mate come round one evening and as we walked in my dad was there drinking all upset etc etc... So that instant i decided i needed my own space and then moved out. As it happened he was just at the start of another relationship and thought with that he should be more occupied with his time now... Although i never have and probably never will get on with him the same way my brother does i make the time to go see him and his new partner and we now get on much better than we ever did when we was living under the same roof.. Maybe the same thing will apply to you too?

  7. #7
    Regular Member Vid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by plasma View Post
    Although i never have and probably never will get on with him the same way my brother does i make the time to go see him and his new partner and we now get on much better than we ever did when we was living under the same roof.. Maybe the same thing will apply to you too?
    I do get on quite well with him usually, mainly though because I don't say what I really think about many things, mainly for a quiet life, I hate a tense atmosphere!!

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    That is the problem with being the eldest, we always seem to be doing everything; that is what is expected from us...

    I hope it gets better soon, as the saying goes you cannot pick your family; but at least you can pick your friends......

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    Regular Member Karl's Avatar
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    once you move life gets better, I can actually speak to my parents now, I didn't when I lived with them

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