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Thread: Divorce Letter

  1. #1
    Regular Member parapaul's Avatar
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    Talking Divorce Letter

    Dear Wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
    forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing
    to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
    tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.


    Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
    haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
    silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
    watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
    don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
    Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
    whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband


    P.S. Don ' t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to
    West Virginia together! Have a great life!
    __________________________________________________ _____________

    Dear Ex-Husband -

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's
    true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
    man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because
    they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn ' t
    work.


    I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first
    thing that came to mind was ' You look just like a girl! ' Since my mother
    raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn' t
    comment.


    And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
    confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork s even years ago.
    About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
    $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
    coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
    morning.


    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
    it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
    and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.


    Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you
    always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a
    dime from me. So take care.

    Signed,
    Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla
    was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

  2. #2
    Regular Member G.O'Rilla's Avatar
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    Nice one! Especially the last two lines........

  3. #3
    Regular Member Happy Girl's Avatar
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    Trim : SE

    Engine : 2.L

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    Good one!! Also reminded me to check the lottery

  4. #4
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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    Quality.....

  5. #5
    Regular Member Sean-2.2Direct's Avatar
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