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Thread: Friday Funnies-*ABSOLUTE QUALITY*

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    Full Member Vaux-Man-G's Avatar
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    Default Friday Funnies-*ABSOLUTE QUALITY*

    NIGHT CLASSES
    During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
    Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
    Narayan: oh!
    Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
    Narayan: No
    Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.

    The next day, the same discussion took place:

    Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
    Narayan: No
    Raman: He's the author of 'The 3 Musketeers', if you take night courses, you would know this.

    The next day, once again:

    Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
    Narayan: No
    Raman: He's the author of 'Confessions', if you take night courses, you would know this.

    This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?

    Raman: No
    Narayan: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop taking night courses, you would know this.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    BLONDE JOKE
    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . ...
    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
    ------------------------------------------------------
    KIDS IN FIRST GRADE THINK FAST
    TEACHER: Why are you late?
    WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
    TEACHER: What sign?
    WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    _____________

    TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
    _____________

    TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
    JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
    JOHN: Maybe its wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
    _____________

    TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
    ______________

    TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
    GEORGE: Here it is!
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
    CLASS: George!
    ______________

    TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that, we didn't have ten years ago.
    WILLIE: Me!
    ______________

    TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
    TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    ______________

    TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
    ELLEN: I is...
    TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
    ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
    _____________

    TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
    _____________

    TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
    JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
    ______________

    TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ______________

    TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
    ______________

    TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    PUPIL: A teacher.
    ______________

    SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
    FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
    SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.


    Bye bye Vec B
    - Hello Siggy!

  2. #2
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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