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Thread: glasgow vasectomy

  1. #1
    Full Member neverlandandy's Avatar
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    Default glasgow vasectomy

    Pure quality by the way!

    After having their 11th child (Pocahontas Brittany Larsson O'Neill), a Glesga couple decided that was enough because they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his GP and told him that he and his missus didn't want to have any more children (Wur no wantin ony mair weans, so wur no).


    The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a firework banger available from most east end corner shops all year round, put it in an empty beer can, light it then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

    The Glesga Ned said to the doctor, 'Ah might no be the smartest tool in the shed, but Ah cannae see how pittin a firework in a beer caun next to my ear is gonnae help me no tae huv ony mair weans.'

    'Trust me,' said the doctor.

    So the Ned went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1' '2' '3' '4' '5' ..... at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
    This procedure is available on the NHS, by the way, and works in Govan, Barrachnie, Garthamlock, Clydebank, Parkhead, Caldercruix, Shettleston, Paisley , and Old Kilpatrick.

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    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    its a cracker ! nice one andy

  3. #3
    Regular Member Andy17899's Avatar
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    Dont forget greenock! :P

  4. #4
    Regular Member john_k_sri's Avatar
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    The last time I heard that one it was about an Irish vasectomy. It's now gone across the water then.

  5. #5
    Regular Member boba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by john_k_sri View Post
    The last time I heard that one it was about an Irish vasectomy. It's now gone across the water then.
    The name was O'Neill so the doc probably thought it would work for ex-pats too.
    Made me laugh (but I'm east-coast! )

  6. #6
    Regular Member dutch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy17899 View Post
    Dont forget greenock! :P
    hawl you ya bam wits up with greenock llf

  7. #7
    Regular Member stusdc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dutch View Post
    hawl you ya bam wits up with greenock llf
    Lets not go there on an open forum eh!!!


    Absolute peach buy ra way....

  8. #8
    Regular Member dutch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stusdc View Post
    Lets not go there on an open forum eh!!!


    Absolute peach buy ra way....
    still aint answered the question whats wrong with greenock and as for your answer coming from ayrshire lets do go there on an open forum ..........

  9. #9
    Regular Member stusdc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dutch View Post
    still aint answered the question whats wrong with greenock and as for your answer coming from ayrshire lets do go there on an open forum ..........
    It's a joke forum, if you can't take one, don't read.... and given that your 50, you should know better! theres quite a lot wrong with greenock, as there is with ayrshire, however, i was merely being funny, as was the spirit of the intended joke.

  10. #10
    Regular Member dutch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stusdc View Post
    It's a joke forum, if you can't take one, don't read.... and given that your 50, you should know better! theres quite a lot wrong with greenock, as there is with ayrshire, however, i was merely being funny, as was the spirit of the intended joke.
    was intened in the same spirit as your answer mate of course i know that wouldnt offend anybody its not in my nature i dont mind being slagged as its all part of the fun .. no offence meant to you mate

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