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Thread: Farting in bed

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Default Farting in bed

    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for

    years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit

    of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.



    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes

    water and make her gasp for air.



    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off

    because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and

    that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was

    concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.



    The years went by and he continued to blast them out!



    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for

    dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl

    where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and

    all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.



    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound

    asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the

    elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey

    guts into his shorts.



    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual

    trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the

    sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.



    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor

    laughing, tears in her eyes!



    After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty

    good.



    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit

    her lip as she asked him what was the matter....



    He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me

    and I didn't listen to you.'



    'What do you mean?' asked his wife.



    'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my

    guts out, and today it finally happened.



    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I

    got most of them back in.'
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  2. #2
    Regular Member BlueRob's Avatar
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    Default


  3. #3
    Regular Member macdad's Avatar
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    Default

    Thats a belter m8

  4. #4
    Regular Member glynn's Avatar
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    absolutly qaulity

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    Regular Member ade0303's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Full Member Jay Kay 313's Avatar
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    Astra Estate SRi XP 1.7 CDTi 100

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    Regular Member ANDY W's Avatar
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    Superb

  8. #8
    Regional Organiser - West Scotland neverlandandy's Avatar
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    quality seen the thread headline and thought you had been spying on me in bed lol

  9. #9
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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    Spot on....

  10. #10
    Regular Member muffking's Avatar
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    Default

    I feel sick

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