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Thread: One for Doug

  1. #1
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    Default One for Doug

    Doug will like this:

    40 things to say at work

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
    >
    > 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    >
    > 3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    >
    > 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    >
    > 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to see things my way.
    >
    > 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
    >
    > 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    >
    > 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    >
    > 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
    >
    > 10. Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
    >
    > 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
    >
    > 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    >
    > 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
    >
    > 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    >
    > 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    >
    > 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    >
    > 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    >
    > 18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    >
    > 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
    >
    > 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    >
    > 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    >
    > 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    >
    > 23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
    >
    > 24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?
    >
    > 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    >
    > 26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.
    >
    > 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    >
    > 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    >
    > 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    >
    > 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    >
    > 31. Oh I get it; like humor, but different.
    >
    > 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    >
    > 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
    >
    > 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    >
    > 35. Nice perfume. Must you really marinate in it?
    >
    > 36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.
    >
    > 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    >
    > 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
    >
    > 39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    >
    > 40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

  2. #2
    Regular Member Doug-SRidirect's Avatar
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    Default

    Sorry Scottex, I completely missed your posting!!!
    You've certainly got my measure!
    Some very good, some brilliant - I'm going to try and use some of these at work tomorrow!
    Doug

  3. #3
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    Default

    Me too! I'm writing some down, in case I forget!!

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