Yes I know you’ve heard some of them before, but why not……
A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He said “try rubbing toilet paper between your t!ts, it's certainly worked for your ar*e”.
My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.
Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog.' She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her “what's your mum like?” Little girl replies “Big c0cks and vodka”.
A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks “Can you settle an argument for us and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?”
The waitress leaned over and said ........ “Burrr gurrr king”.
Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's “I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....”
Anne replies “You’d better jack off, I've got a headache”.
Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey Cokey has died aged 93. The worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started.
It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is!
Tampax are replacing the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.