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Thread: Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Default Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

    Here is the Washington Post's Mensa invitational which once again asked
    readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
    subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are
    the winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
    financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

    2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an *******.

    3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
    realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
    ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
    of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
    laid.

    7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

    8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who
    doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
    bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
    serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming
    only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
    come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
    accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
    bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
    fruit you're eating.


    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
    contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
    words. And the winners are:

    1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
    gained.

    3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

    6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
    nightgown.

    7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
    over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
    onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
    men.
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

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    Nice one mate, was a good read that one, made me laugh!!

  3. #3
    Regular Member boba's Avatar
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    fell about!

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