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Thread: How to be annoying

  1. #1
    Regular Member Leviathan's Avatar
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    Default How to be annoying

    Learn Morse Code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip.

    Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

    Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

    Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

    Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

    Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

    Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

    Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

    Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

    Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's "Orange".

    Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

    TYPE IN UPPERCASE ONLY.

    type in lowercase only.

    dont use any punctuation either

    Pay for your dinner with pennies.

    Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

    Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

    Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

    Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

    At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

    As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
    Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

    While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

    Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

    Wear a LOT of cologne.

    Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

    Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

  2. #2
    Regular Member steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leviathan View Post
    Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
    Very Funny Specially like these three!

  3. #3
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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    Very good Daz,especially like the line, Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot",reminded me what happened on Saturday night,i was out with friends and we were telling stories,mate was in the middle of one and he forgot the punchline,i just PMSL he stood there trying to explain that it was funny but completely forgot the story hilarious........

  4. #4
    Regular Member Leviathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenboy View Post
    Very good Daz,especially like the line, Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot",reminded me what happened on Saturday night,i was out with friends and we were telling stories,mate was in the middle of one and he forgot the punchline,i just PMSL he stood there trying to explain that it was funny but completely forgot the story hilarious........
    lol, its horrible forgetting the end of a joke like that, you really want people to know the end but cant find the words. There is no recovery for the joke after this.

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