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Thread: Tesco's

  1. #1
    Regular Member john_k_sri's Avatar
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    Default Tesco's

    This was e-mailed to me the other day. I hope you like it.

    One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike 'My elbow hurts like hell.
    I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!' 'Listen, don't waste your time
    down at the surgery,' Mike replies. 'There's a new diagnostic computer at
    Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
    what's wrong, and what to do about it.
    It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and
    better than a doctor and you get Club card points.'
    So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
    He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
    urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
    later, the computer ejects a printout. 'You have tennis elbow.
    Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve
    in two weeks.' That evening while thinking how amazing this new
    technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
    from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the
    mixture for good measure.
    Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposited
    five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The
    computer printed the following:-
    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
    2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet.
    3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Tesco

  2. #2
    Ex-Staff Full Member Taffyopel's Avatar
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    Default



    Snowman, you got your ears on?

  3. #3
    Ex-Staff Full Member Ian T's Avatar
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    Default

    LOL very good

  4. #4
    Regular Member dv8's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Ex RO - East Region soulman's Avatar
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    Default

    lol nice one

  6. #6
    Regular Member corman's Avatar
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    Default

    i like that one

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