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Thread: A couple of funnies

  1. #1
    Regular Member silverhairedracer's Avatar
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    Default A couple of funnies

    A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
    After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress
    and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look
    at her.
    Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey
    The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.
    Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!
    With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress,
    yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of
    her butt.
    This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction
    flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
    Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
    Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that ******
    Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen
    somebody do it.'

    A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress
    party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg,
    so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.A few days
    later he receives a parcel with a note:
    Dear Sir,

    Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
    cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as
    a Pirate.
    The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he
    writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another
    parcel and note:
    Dear Sir,

    sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
    The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
    will really look the part.
    The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has
    gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald
    head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later
    he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying
    letter:
    Dear Sir,

    Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
    We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick
    your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple[/FONT]

  2. #2
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
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    Default

    Very good,especially like the first one,Hind Lick Manoeuvre.........

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