A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress
and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look
Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey
The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.
Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!
With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress,
yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction
flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that ******
Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen
somebody do it.'
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress
party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg,
so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.A few days
later he receives a parcel with a note:
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he
writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another
parcel and note:
sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has
gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald
head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later
he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple[/FONT]