User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Church bulletins

  1. #1
    Regular Member CPHB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Karlstad (the capital of the Swedish Rally)
    Problems Posted
    0
    Problems Solved
    0
    Best Answers
    0
    Good Answers
    0
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Vehicle InfoStats

    Vehicle : Opel Vectra

    Trim : OPC-lina

    Engine : 2,0 T

    Year : 2007

    Default Church bulletins

    They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

    These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

    The Fasting & Prayer Conference will include meals.

    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

    Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

    The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday

    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

  2. #2
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Wiltshire
    Problems Posted
    0
    Problems Solved
    0
    Best Answers
    0
    Good Answers
    0
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Vehicle InfoStats





    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CPHB
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
    Is that a tuba?

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Derilict Church
    By ed taylor in forum General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 16th August 2011, 12:41
  2. Do the church and drum and bass mix
    By aerodynamic18 in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 4th August 2009, 19:33
  3. Church Organist
    By Blagmeister in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11th February 2009, 16:39
  4. Drunk guy in a church
    By mycarsavectra in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16th April 2007, 23:12
  5. Kids in Church
    By 65gilly in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 3rd April 2007, 23:05

Visitors found this page by searching for:

Nobody landed on this page from a search engine, yet!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •