John O'reilly was in the pub. He raised his glass & made a toast, "here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of my lovely wife"

That won him the top prize at the pub for best toast of the night.

He went home & told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for best toast of the night"

She said "did you now, & what was your toast"

"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife" said john.

"oh thats lovely" Mary said

The next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies in the street.

The man chuckled leeringly & said "John won the prize last night, with a toast about you"

"Aye" she said "he told me, & i'm a bit surprised meself.
You know, he's only been up there twice in the last 4 years.
once he fell asleep, & the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."