User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Old but gold

  1. #1
    Regular Member MalcGSI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    E Sussex & Kent
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Old but gold

    These are comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but-boy, are these funny!

    1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

    2. I would not allow this student to breed.

    3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

    4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

    5.Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

    6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

    7. This child has been working with glue too much.

    8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

    9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

    10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

    11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

    12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.



    __________________________________________________ ________________

    These Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

    15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

    14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

    13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

    12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

    11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

    10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

    9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

    8 'The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

    7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.

    6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

    5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

    4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

    3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

    2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
    AND THE WINNER IS....
    1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. ............. Sign here ."

  2. #2
    Regular Member S14RRJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Lancashire
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    some of the teaches comments are hilarous, would be better if there got away with it lol

  3. #3
    Regular Member glenboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Sunny Dartmoor
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    StatsVehicle Info
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Classic......

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. The gold urinal
    By bobssignum in forum Comedy & Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 24th October 2012, 11:38
  2. gold or black???
    By Slick in forum Handling & Braking
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 2nd July 2009, 10:31
  3. Gold Vectra...
    By Ross-SRi in forum Vectra C / Signum Car Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 24th March 2008, 02:32
  4. Gold MG for sale
    By taffy in forum Cars for sale
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 3rd November 2005, 00:03

Visitors found this page by searching for:

Nobody landed on this page from a search engine, yet!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •