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Thread: affair's................

  1. #1
    Regular Member ditchp's Avatar
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    Eek affair's................

    The 1st Affair
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    | A married man was having an affair
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    | with his secretary.
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    | One day they went to her place
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    | and made love all afternoon.
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    | Exhausted, they fell asleep
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    | and woke up at 8 PM.
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    | The man hurriedly dressed
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    | and told his lover to take his shoes
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    | outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
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    | He put on his shoes and drove home.
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    | 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
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    | 'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
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    | 'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
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    | We had sex all afternoon.'
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    | She looked down at his shoes and said:
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    | 'You lying *******!
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    | You've been playing golf!'
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    | The 2nd Affair
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    | A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
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    | but always talked about having a son.
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    | They decided to try one last time
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    | for the son they always wanted.
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    | The wife got pregnant
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    | and delivered a healthy baby boy.
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    | The joyful father rushed to the nursery
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    | to see his new son.
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    | He was horrified at the ugliest child
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    | he had ever seen.
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    | He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
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    | be the father of this baby.
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    | Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
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    | Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
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    | The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
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    | 'Not this time!'
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    | The 3rd Affair
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    | A mortician was working late one night.
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    | He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
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    | about to be cremated,
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    | and made a startling discovery.
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    | Schwartz had the largest private part
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    | he had ever seen!
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    | 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
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    | commented, 'I can't allow you to be cre mated
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    | with such an impressive private part.
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    | It must be saved for posterity.'
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    | So, he removed it,
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    | stuffed it into his briefcase,
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    | and took it home
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    | 'I have something to show
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    | you won't believe,' he said to his wife,
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    | opening his briefcase.
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    | 'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
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    | 'Schwartz is dead!'
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    | The 4th Affair
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    | A woman was in bed with her lover
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    | when she heard her husband
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    | opening the front door.
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    | 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
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    | She rubbed baby oil all over him,
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    | then dusted him with talcum powder.
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    | 'Don't move until I tell you,'
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    | she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'
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    | 'What's this?' the husband inquired
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    | as he entered the room.
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    | 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied,
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    | 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it
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    | so I got one for us, too.'
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    | No more was said,
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    | not even when they went to bed.
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    | Around 2 AM the husband got up,
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    | went to the kitchen and returned
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    | with a sandwich and a beer.
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    | 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.
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    | I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
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    | and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
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    Midlands Mod Shop - NFFC.

  2. #2
    Regular Member amar's Avatar
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    lol...

  3. #3
    Regular Member Caterman's Avatar
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  4. #4
    Regular Member Ste's Avatar
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    Old, but funny

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