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Thread: The ant & the grasshopper

  1. #1
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    Default The ant & the grasshopper

    THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER
    --------------
    CLASSIC VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
    fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    THE END
    -------------

    THE ENGLISH VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
    fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

    The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
    fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

    The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
    with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
    laden with food.

    The Brits are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

    The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of
    the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting an Welsh cultural festival special
    from Carmarthen with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
    Overcome."

    Moira Stuart rants in an interview with David Dimberley that the ant has
    gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
    hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

    In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
    Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the
    summer.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire
    grasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to France, and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
    ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house
    he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
    because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Ken Livingstone is appointed to
    head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sun and The Times
    blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes
    of despair arising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised
    by the government for enriching England's multicultural diversity, who
    promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

    THE END

  2. #2
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    Default

    Funny...just a shame it is all sooooooo true!!!!

  3. #3
    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder GARY3306's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs D
    Funny...just a shame it is all sooooooo true!!!!
    Yea, I actually KNEW that grasshopper, he was ok before all that.
    [SIGPIC]VX<font color=Red>R</font> with added Courtenay <img src=https://www.vectra-c.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.png border=0 alt= title=Big Grin class=inlineimg />

  4. #4
    Regular Member Ian's Avatar
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    Default

    how relevant a metaphor does anyone need? - superb and sign of the times!

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