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Thread: How to speak Essex

  1. #1
    Ex-Staff Full Member Taffyopel's Avatar
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    Default How to speak Essex

    How to speak Essex!!


    This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to
    venture into darkest depths of Essex


    A task not for the faint-hearted!




    alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item






    amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")






    assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, etc.





    awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")






    branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look
    branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")






    cort a panda - A rather large hamburger





    Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")






    eye-eels - Women's shoes






    Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre






    garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")






    Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island





    lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")





    OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs





    paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport





    reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")






    Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday






    tan - The city of London, the big smoke






    webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")






    wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police






    zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")


    Snowman, you got your ears on?

  2. #2
    Regular Member ditchp's Avatar
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    Midlands Mod Shop - NFFC.

  3. #3
    Administrator Big-Pete's Avatar
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    Default

    oi oi....!!!

    I really dunno any1 wat torx like dat round ere m8...

    Pmsl Very good, i must remember to give a copy of that to my brother as he's off to basldon on Thursday..
    Last edited by Big-Pete; 26th February 2008 at 21:42.

  4. #4
    Regular Member lofty's Avatar
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    laff art loud..

  5. #5
    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder GARY3306's Avatar
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    my Mrs is from Colchester and she says they are spot on lol
    [SIGPIC]VX<font color=Red>R</font> with added Courtenay <img src=https://www.vectra-c.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.png border=0 alt= title=Big Grin class=inlineimg />

  6. #6
    Regular Member Signum_CDTI's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Taffyopel View Post
    How to speak Essex!!


    This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to
    venture into darkest depths of Essex


    A task not for the faint-hearted!




    alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item






    amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")






    assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, etc.





    awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")






    branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look
    branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")






    cort a panda - A rather large hamburger





    Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")






    eye-eels - Women's shoes






    Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre






    garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")






    Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island





    lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")





    OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs





    paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport





    reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")






    Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday






    tan - The city of London, the big smoke






    webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")






    wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police






    zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")


    got the outlaws from Sarfffffffend coming to stay on saturday - must remember not to crack these jokes!


  7. #7
    On a Sabbatical VauxVeteran's Avatar
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    Default

    Innit just tipical ear in tha sarf we speeks proppa an vem up norf carnt understand a werd ov iyt, oi oi savaloy

  8. #8
    Regular Member SignumPhil's Avatar
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    Default



    Phil

  9. #9
    Regular Member silverhairedracer's Avatar
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    ESSEX
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    This is "Estuary Essex" talk,go to Lakeside shopping centre on a sat or sun,and you will be able to listen to it !!!,spot the white stilletos as well,

    I hasten to add I do not live in that particular corner of Essex thank goodness.

  10. #10
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    Me neither, Braintree ( the posh side ), we dont mix wiv (oops) the sarf (slipped again) essex ruffians.

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