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Thread: things to do in asda :)

  1. #1
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    Default things to do in asda :)

    Fourteen Things a Man can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time doing the xmas 'big shop':

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Houseware to go off at 5 minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilet.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Houseware...' and see what happens.

    5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

    10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

    11.Wander around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

    12. Hide in a clothing rack .. . . and when people browse through, say:
    "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

    13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

    And last but not least:

    14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... Then yell
    loudly:
    "There's no toilet paper in here!"

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    I've wanted to go up behind the greeter who does the in shop announcements and swear whilst he is broadcasting.

    Also - go to customer services and request some help - and say you are not waiting.... they all end their announcements with 'customer waiting'

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    Regular Member Caterman's Avatar
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    TAXI..............

    and i thought i'd brought you up right ........wait till your mother get's home. I'm going to have a serious word with her

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    Regular Member Ste's Avatar
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    Default

    Thanks for that, you have just brightened my day.

  5. #5
    Ex Vec-C Admin ed taylor's Avatar
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    Default

    My wife goes mad when we are in the houseware departmwnt and i wind up all the timers, and set them to go off at different times, [ grow up NO!, i will just get older]

  6. #6
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    it's quite suprising how many of those things i have already done ....

  7. #7
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    yet another classic - now GET SOME WORK DONE!!!!!!

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