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Thread: Women's Problems!!!

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    Regular Member Caterman's Avatar
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    Engine : 3.2 V6

    Year : 05

    Default Women's Problems!!!

    TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER

    BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

    Dear Mr. Thatcher

    I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough
    to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't
    tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little
    F-16 in my pants.

    Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
    "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
    violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
    "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
    As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the
    bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying and out-of-control behavior. You surely realise it's a
    tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a
    George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

    Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is
    just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
    Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
    reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

    "Have a Happy Period."

    Are you *+*#*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
    mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?

    Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak
    girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you
    have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahlúa and lock yourself in
    your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of
    glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have
    to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent,like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?
    - Or are you just picking on us?

    Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective
    immediately, there will be an £8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
    chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
    certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
    brand of condescending bull****.

    And that's a promise I will keep

    Best Regards,


    Wendi Aarons

  2. #2
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    I was sitting watching the telly just the other evening with Mrs Duncan, when one of their ads came on with the 'Have a happy period' slogan. We just turned to each other at the same time with a look!!! and at the same time said "That has to have been a man that thought up that one!!" 'Have a happy period' - Jeez!!!, what were they thinking?!!

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    Regular Member BlueRob's Avatar
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    Very good mate, very good.
    Aunt Flo.... never heard that before

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    Regular Member BlueRob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan View Post


    I was sitting watching the telly just the other evening with Mrs Duncan, when one of their ads came on with the 'Have a happy period' slogan. We just turned to each other at the same time with a look!!! and at the same time said "That has to have been a man that thought up that one!!" 'Have a happy period' - Jeez!!!, what were they thinking?!!

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    Regular Member Pecojess's Avatar
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