Life advice needed

[steveked]

dunno what i'm doing typing this in here but what the hey i'm on the brink .

i've had a terribly hard year this year and its really taken its toll .Even though we've (me and my family) have turned it around . heres some background . I lost my job in august but found a better job after 2 months of worrying and stress. during this time we'd also commited to buy a new house more worry and stress then we find out my wife is pregnant happy but stressed lol . All this has happened in the last 4 months but finally last month we move i'm settling into my new job and baby is fine and well so i think great its been a helluva struggle but we've done it and came out the other end BUT this wonderfully expensive new house just happens to be next to an old man and his loser jobless hippy of a son whos room is next to ours , said hippy enjoys playing the organ (he's approx early 40's i think) early into the wee hours every other night , now me being at the end of my tether i'm ready a couple of nights ago to frankly go to prison for a ling time until my wife persuades me to do nothing as she was worrying about what i'd do, so i put the baseball bat back in the garage and sleep in the spare room (the missus said she'd go round the next morning and has a poilte word and i dont do polite these days) anyway she didnt get round to it and it happened again last night , fortunately i get very drunk and slept in the spare bed but she went round at 3am in her dressing gown and let them know they were out of order they quietened down , now i'm worried because i know if they start up again i will be driving through their front room in a psycotic rage .

I really feel like giving up and honestly feel on the edge of some sort of episode .

There are other things thats also contributed to my plight and i know in the grand scheme of things that i guess its not all that bad but honestly to me everything is tearing me up i just dont have the strength or will to fight much owt else , dont get me wrong i aint suicidal or anything like.

sorry about this thread weird i know lol

[SignumPhil]

Hello, Steve,
I've been in this situation, and it's easy to get wound up -when you want to sleep, you're at your lowest ebb, and it's exhausting.
The best way to start is the way your wife has -open a dialogue. He may not realize what diestress he's causing you. A friendly word, leading to a good relationship with your neighbour, is better than hostilities over the garden fence.
If the friendly word doesn't work, have a word with your local council's Environmental Health department -the problem of noise is so common now, that most of them have a way of dealing with it.
Keep your chin up -you're almost out of the woods. I've been down there nyself, and there's nothing worse than being knocked back when you're coming out of it.

Good luck,

Phil

[mushy2007]

Find a gym and exert your frustrated energy into weights or the punch bag.

If the dick next door doesnt stop call the police; at 3am its a breach of the peace whether he is in his house or not.

The last thing you need is your out at work and they start playing silly ****ers why your familys in the house.

[KC]

Yep good advice mate. Stick with it. Think take a deep breath before you say start anything, and allways rememer that there are two of the most important people relying on you and you alone. Keep above it and look at the official line to handle this. Its not worth it mate.

[steveked]

Sound advice guys , i feel better for getting it out in the open albeit on a veccy forum lol

the thing i'm struggling with is actually heeding the advice , i cant seem to get my head round it and keep thinking they are doing it deliberately. Apparently the missus says they were very appologetic but nowwe've told them that they are taking the p!ss i'm worried the next time it happens i'm gonna really lose it so now i'm gonna be on tender hooks everytime i go to bed for the foreseable future , no win situation cos of some ingnorant sponging git

[Duncan]

As above, get in touch with the council who'll most likely have a section that deals with noise. They may ask you to keep a record of dates, times and durations etc. Some recorded evidence - be it just audio or video too - will always help.

[Paulsvectra]

Sound advice guys , i feel better for getting it out in the open albeit on a veccy forum lol

the thing i'm struggling with is actually heeding the advice , i cant seem to get my head round it and keep thinking they are doing it deliberately. Apparently the missus says they were very appologetic but nowwe've told them that they are taking the p!ss i'm worried the next time it happens i'm gonna really lose it so now i'm gonna be on tender hooks everytime i go to bed for the foreseable future , no win situation cos of some ingnorant sponging git

Hi Steve
You have had some very good advice already ring your local council and ask for some advice . Start keeping a log time dates etc also buy a dictaphone from argos / currys and start recording everything make sure you get the digital one £25 ish.

I know its hard but try not to loose your temper if you need anymore advice pm me and I will send you a link to a forum that deals with NFH.


Paul

[Stevel]

Some great advice already.

The most effective solution is to sort it with the neighbours first if you can.

Good neighbours are worth working at and I'll admit with our first house we demonised ours by just assuming that everything they did was a deliberate attempt to **** us off.

When we moved to where we are now we made a point of going for a few beers with them to the point that after they moved we still see them every couple of weeks

[BIG NEIL]

Hi Steve
You have had some very good advice already ring your local council and ask for some advice . Start keeping a log time dates etc also buy a dictaphone from argos / currys and start recording everything make sure you get the digital one £25 ish.

I know its hard but try not to loose your temper if you need anymore advice pm me and I will send you a link to a forum that deals with NFH.


Paul

thats great advice to paul keep a dairy time and dates so you can bring it up if it gets nasty and you have to go down the legal road.
me being a diplomat would probably go in and shove his organ up his ass!!!!

[Stevie-B]

Hello, Steve,
I've been in this situation, and it's easy to get wound up -when you want to sleep, you're at your lowest ebb, and it's exhausting.
The best way to start is the way your wife has -open a dialogue. He may not realize what diestress he's causing you. A friendly word, leading to a good relationship with your neighbour, is better than hostilities over the garden fence.
If the friendly word doesn't work, have a word with your local council's Environmental Health department -the problem of noise is so common now, that most of them have a way of dealing with it.
Keep your chin up -you're almost out of the woods. I've been down there nyself, and there's nothing worse than being knocked back when you're coming out of it.

Good luck,

Phil

Well done Phil I think that's top advice..... you should run for PM .... Good luck Steve. When I get down about stuff and get stressed, I always think of those more disadvantaged than myself. I know its a common old saying, 'theres always someone....' but for me it works. Instead of wasting time and getting yourself more annoyed, get the finger out (meant in a nice tough attitude sort of way).... and talk to the dude next door reminding him that organ playing should be kept to churches.... or turn up at the house with a present (pair of headphones) and ask him to use them at night.... if you get anything negitive then f*** the council go round with a shotgun (sorry I'm from N.I) I mean ask the nice Enviromental Health Officer to do a check....

Good luck mate let us know how you got on.... and wish the boss all the best in having the baby.....