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Thread: Aussie Bricky

  1. #1
    Regular Member lborob17's Avatar
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    Default Aussie Bricky

    Just been sent this - if it is true..........
    Rich


    AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT



    Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's

    accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian

    equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story.



    Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......



    Dear Sir,



    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in

    Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause

    of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the

    following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the

    day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story

    building.



    When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over

    which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a

    barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building

    on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof,

    swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and

    untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the

    bricks.



    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh

    135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I

    lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to

    say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the

    vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding

    downward at an equally impressive speed.



    This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken

    collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed

    only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the

    fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

    Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able

    to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.



    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

    ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight

    of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you

    again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down

    the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the

    barrel coming up.



    This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

    lacerations of my legs and lower body.



    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the Barrel

    seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile

    of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.



    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in

    pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and

    let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its

    journey back down onto me.



    This explains the two broken legs.



    I hope this answers your inquiry.

  2. #2
    Regular Member Tim2100's Avatar
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    pmsl fantastic!!

  3. #3
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    is it me or has everyone got a mate like that and you could beleive it, if it had happed to them?

  4. #4
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    Believable, I've played cricket with many of them including Shane Warne, who bought a sunbed whilst he was over here playing and had it sent back to Australia when he went home. The only sunbed in Australia.

    True story: I was at a charity do many years ago for a local Hospice. Two Aussie cricketers were stood at the bar and one said to his mate, "Whats a hospice", his mate replied "Its what horses do".

  5. #5
    Regular Member Jamie's Avatar
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    PMSL... thats brilliant, and I have a mate who fits the profile perfectly!!

  6. #6
    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder GARY3306's Avatar
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    Brilliant. PMSL
    [SIGPIC]VX<font color=Red>R</font> with added Courtenay <img src=https://www.vectra-c.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.png border=0 alt= title=Big Grin class=inlineimg />

  7. #7
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    This is fab!!!!! pmsl!!!!

  8. #8
    Regular Member Basil's Avatar
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    Absolutely priceless PMSL

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SCOTTEX
    "Whats a hospice"
    About 20 litres, I should imagine!

  10. #10
    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder Bainie's Avatar
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    Thats the words to the bricklayers song, hilarious it is !!!

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