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Thread: Funerals

  1. #1
    Regular Member nutron's Avatar
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    Default Funerals

    I'm going to a funeral today, for someone who was like a brother to me. I've never had someone this close to me die before... I'm not a spring chicken but I guess I just don't get very close to people.

    Worst bit about it is the feeling of guilt; I keep feeling guilty for things I think about or things I should have done. I know there is nothing I could have directly done to prevent his death but I could have made more of an effort to see him and such prior to.

    He was the same age as me, seems, wrong.

    They say sharing can help, so could someone else feel bad for me?

  2. #2
    Regular Member SteveH's Avatar
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    Dont be cruel to yourself mate , i lost a few good mates when i was in the Army ,so i can understand how your feeling, seems bad i know when your the same age (was he ill or was it sudden) trust me when i say time is a healer , im sure he wouldnt want you to feel like this , hope your day goes well and dont forget all your freinds here will listen

    Steve

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    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder Bainie's Avatar
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    I lost my closest freind 3 years ago, felt the same as you mate, but it does get easier ..

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    Regular Member john_k_sri's Avatar
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    Default

    We all have regrets and frailties, it's part of the human condition. But as Bainie says, it does get better. You are most certainly not alone in feeling as you do. You cannot be held responsible for things that may well have been out of your control and we all have to move on, however difficult it may seem.Life can most certainly be a swine as they say.

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    Regular Member Ste's Avatar
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    Default

    I lost a very good friend just over 8 years ago. We was only 27 and one of the best people you could ever hope to meet.

    Even after all this time I still feel guilty about not making enough effort before his untimely demise to see him.

    There's not a lot I wouldn't give to have one more pint with him, but that's life I suppose. We always would do some things differently if we had the opportunity.

  6. #6
    Regular Member JuzzyD's Avatar
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    As said above, don't be hard on yourself. Things happen, and usually for reasons nobody can have control over.

    Just concentrate on the good times you've had and not dwell on things, it will get better with time.

  7. #7
    Regular Member SignumPhil's Avatar
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    Whenever you lose someone, you always feel guilty. All the things you should have said and done, but never got around to.
    The best thing you can do is remember the good things, and try and celebrate his life as well as mourning the loss.
    You'll never forget him and he'll always live in your memory. As time goes on, you'll come to live with the loss, hard though it is.

    Phil

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    Ex Vec-C Admin ed taylor's Avatar
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    Default

    It is normal to feel guilty for the things you should have done, part of human nature, But as said above don,t be hard on yourself.Think of all the good times you had together, I dare say your mate would prefer that.

  9. #9
    Ex Vec-C Admin & Founder Bainie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ste View Post

    There's not a lot I wouldn't give to have one more pint with him, but that's life I suppose. We always would do some things differently if we had the opportunity.
    That hit home mate, well said ....

  10. #10
    Regular Member j1 wyx's Avatar
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    IFS BUTS AND MAYBEE'S springs to mind!!!!! i think we have all been there, i lost my dad 3 years ago next month, and there are so many things i would have done differently, at the end of the day my dad knew i loved him, keep your chin up m8, it does get easier to cope with

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