Country Roads!

[Mrs D]

Well, we have lived out in the countryside for almost five weeks, and I have almost learned the rules of the road as they apply out here. Not sure I will ever be able to drive in this way - but here we go:-

1 - Indicating is not necessary - simply increase speed, slam on the anchors and swerve violently to perform a turn manouevre. (For added points, you may indicate in the other direction, or begin to indicate once the turn has been completed)

2 - There are no speed limits - although speeds below 30mph are preferred on the flat straight stretches of road, whereas winding, narrow roads (especially those with numerous blind bends) are more conducive to speeds in excess of 75mph)

3 - Any driver pulling into a layby and waving you past along a narrow piece of road will begin driving off once you are adjacent to their wing mirror, thus sandwiching you against the hedgerow.

4 - The larger the hat on the old lady in front, the slower she will drive.

5 - It is not necessary for any rear lights to function - the car behind will know you intend to perform a braking manouevre when they cannon into the back of you

6 - Very elderly people with dogs on the parcel shelf rarely know where they are going

and

7 - Around every hairpin bend will be either a herd of cows or a very small man in a Mini driving on the wrong side of the road. (Or both, if you are very lucky!)

So, who is coming to visit us then?!?!

[spoons]

I'll visit deffo

But you also forgot...........

- The locals always have right of way on a single-track, so are not expected to reverse, even if a passing point is 10 feet behind them.

- The longer you lived there, the faster you are allowed to drive down the lanes

- Local teenagers recon at night-time, the moon is all you need to see the road ahead, so turn off their headlights and cane it !!

- Knock for Knock insurance is replaced by 'who has the biggest shotgun'

- Giving directions to delivery vehicles is pointless, knowing you will see them again in 30 minutes !!

- Running out of fuel is the same as being abandoned in the jungle

- Sheep will not move, regardless how loud your horn is !!

[spoons]

I used to live here...... right in the middle of the picture

[John35]

point 7 does not apply anymore.

poor cows............

[Bainie]

- Local teenagers recon at night-time, the moon is all you need to see the road ahead, so turn off their headlights and cane it !!

I remember doing that, them were the days *lol* (Jeez the things you did as a teenager and wondered why everyone was getting upset with you !! )

[spoons]

point 7 does not apply anymore.

poor cows............

Foot and Mouth is preventing all livestock from moving around again !!

[chrisw]

tractors are slowand very painfull

from Extractorfan

large vehicles don't have the rite of way its the rite of weight!

[VauxVeteran]

They're funny things them humans, even funnier with a steering wheel in their hands

[Marty J CDTI]

My mum still lives in the sticks so I put my colin mcrae hat on for the home trips!! Just try and avoid the puddles as they are usually about 9ft deep

[m8internet]

7 - Around every hairpin bend will be either a herd of cows

I think the cows would prefer to be loose on the road at the moment, than in a field!