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Thread: Shocking Reports Coming In!

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    On a Sabbatical VauxVeteran's Avatar
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    Default Shocking Reports Coming In!

    After the creation of the Vecturama site by Vectra C.Com member's Spoons & Mrs Spoons showing the rigidity of the Vectra/Signum range, other Vectra owners are now deliberately ramming their cars in to anything they can find in the hope that the Spoons' will feature their car on the site http://www.vxrd.com/Vectrauma.htm

    We interviewed Mr J Ones who had only just picked up his VXR from the dealer this morning and asked him why he smashed a brand new car up on purpose

    Well he said, it's like this, I only bought the car cos the bloke next door bought an 06 plate one last week so I had to have an 07 to outdo him, then i found the Vecturama site just before I went to collect the car and saw my other neighbours car featured on it, well I thought anything he can do I can do better, so I looked around for a petrol tanker and decided that was the car death for my car, and so I set about waiting for the tanker to come out of the local ASDA and rammed it a midships, well talk about Nov 5th and Hiroshima mixed in to one, total burnout of the car, not a scrap of Arden left on it, I'm sure I'll get more stars than those others for sure now!


    While this report was being compiled we've received reports of another 87 incident's involving Vectras, all their owners have once again cited the Vecturama site as the reason for the crashes, we caught up with Miss Jebonae Implant Klein-Sillicow of Dover who has lost her right leg in her crash for a heads up, she told us, after seeing the site I had to go one better, so I opened the door and then drove off the cliffs ensuring both me and the car would feature on the site, first on scene were sun lovers Mr P McCartney and Miss C Black, both of Liverpool who'd been bathing on the beach below, Mr McCartney was overheard proposing marriage to Jebonae and Miss Black was seen asking locals for the nearest hat shop.

    Vx dealers are also reporting an influx of pop stars and footballers all eager to take delivery of a new Vectra, we asked one couple why they wanted a Vectra rather than a Hummer, well we've just moved to America answered Mrs Beckham, and while were ordering a Vectra our PR ppl are hiring a VC10 from the RAF and organising an event for Miss Loos to attend, so we can drive the Vectra out of the plane at 10000 ft and aim for her, it'll be sooooo Hollywood and we've arranged for it to be in the next Bruce Willis film, Die Hard 5 With A Vectragence.


    Hope you enjoyed the read folks

  2. #2
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    Regular Member silverhairedracer's Avatar
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    Another good one VV,are you going to write the next James Bond or Harry potter book ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverhairedracer View Post
    Another good one VV,are you going to write the next James Bond or Harry potter book ?
    Don't encourage me

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    Admin plasma's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Vectra

    Trim : SRi

    Engine : 150

    Year : 05

    Mileage : 74000

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    Good one mate, u should write for a snoozepaper

  6. #6
    spoons
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    Hey, the Vectrauma pages are 'invitation only'

    I like reading your short stories

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    Regular Member dazzer t's Avatar
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    that has to be one of the funniest things i have ever read. pmsl

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    Quote Originally Posted by plasma View Post
    Good one mate, u should write for a snoozepaper
    Believe me I'd love to Dean, but if I applied, I get the old wot quallys ya got mate, non I'd say other than my kindred mind, and sadly there's no NVQ for that yet

  9. #9
    spoons
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    Quote Originally Posted by VauxVeteran View Post
    Believe me I'd love to Dean, but if I applied, I get the old wot quallys ya got mate, non I'd say other than my kindred mind, and sadly there's no NVQ for that yet
    Errr... not being funny but Dougie Rankine from Total Vauxhall magazine has no qualifications either and Barton (editor) says hes much better than all those post-graduates with degrees coming out of their ****5...

    Dougie has more ability that all of them put together, acording to Barton !!

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    Quote Originally Posted by spoons View Post
    Errr... not being funny but Dougie Rankine from Total Vauxhall magazine has no qualifications either and Barton (editor) says hes much better than all those post-graduates with degrees coming out of their ****5...

    Dougie has more ability that all of them put together, acording to Barton !!
    I'd agree with that Steve, but I suspect Doug was in the right place at the right time tbh, too much emphasis on ppl who do well in classroom's, I've always seen ppl that can't wait as doer's or ppl that don't actually need to be shown, naturals if you like.

    What I really need is for David Sullivan of the Sport/Adult fame to buy a Vectra and be having trouble with it so he sign's up here and reads me, then thinks, gotta have that guy, I wonder if 2.5 million a week will secure his services

    Err Err, gettoff mum I know it's time to get up!

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