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Thread: Fine.....

  1. #1
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    Talking Fine.....

    The following is something I actually used as part of my wedding speech.....

    An interpretation of certain responses men may hear from a woman.

    FINE

    This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
    right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman
    looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

    FIVE MINUTES

    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
    football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's
    an even trade.

    NOTHING

    This means 'something', and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
    usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
    inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
    argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

    GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

    This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
    "Nothing", and will end with the word "Fine."

    GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

    This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You
    will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
    "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
    when she cools off.

    LOUD SIGH

    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
    misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
    at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
    and arguing with you over "Nothing".

    SOFT SIGH

    Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
    she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will
    stay content.

    THAT'S OKAY

    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
    man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
    paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
    often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead."
    At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

    PLEASE DO

    This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
    chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
    whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth,
    so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

    THANKS

    A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say 'You're welcome.'

    THANKS A LOT

    This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
    when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
    offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."
    Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only
    tell you "Nothing."

    D

  2. #2
    Regular Member Basil's Avatar
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    LMAO

    Nice one D

  3. #3
    [Ex]Admin Duncan's Avatar
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    Default

    Cheers Basil - it certainly got a laugh from the guests!! - Although I think my wife of a couple of hours was tempted to shove a fork up my kilt!!! LOL

    D

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    FIVE MINUTES

    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
    football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's
    an even trade.

    I know what you mean. He picked up the "FIVE MINUTE JOB" (all night) from his Dad.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Yep, you got it right there Duncan!!! Love this one, seen it before but still makes me laugh!!

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