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Thread: When Girls Don't Put Out..

  1. #1
    Regular Member R-man's Avatar
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    Default When Girls Don't Put Out..

    This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:
    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit. "We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

  2. #2
    Regular Member Karl's Avatar
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    Superb!

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    Smile

    The female inside me says do what I did. Get a card with your name on it linked to their account, then you don't have to take them shopping.

    GAME OVER

  4. #4
    On a Sabbatical VauxVeteran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jax View Post
    The female inside me says do what I did. Get a card with your name on it linked to their account, then you don't have to take them shopping.

    GAME OVER
    Were getting wise to that old malarky, only a green mug gets caught like that now, that's why weddings will become a thing of the past very soon, modern man has realised why get nagged and his wages nicked every week when he can go to Thailand 3 times a year, keep his house, keep his wages and always have a beautiful pleasing woman for the rest of his life.


    p.s I know you was only returning humour so don't take it as a plug at you.

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    Regular Member ion's Avatar
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    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.


    lol, not for a while I would imagine either.

    I consider myself not afraid of much but I wouldn't try that trick with my mrs. Not even in my dreams (in case she could read my mind!)

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    Regular Member AndrewTi's Avatar
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    Let's just say, Sharon would have new earings, I'd have a new annoyingly squeaky voice..

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    Regular Member Gsi3.2's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Regular Member ion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew's SRi View Post
    Let's just say, Sharon would have new earings, I'd have a new annoyingly squeaky voice..
    lol

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    Default

    You will never beat a woman at her own game; if you try you will end up on the substitute's bench. But she may well beat you at yours.......

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