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A How To For The Woman In Your Life & Vectra!
I thought I would do this as it seems that a lot of women have some problems In this area.
How To Refuel Your Car
1. You may on occasion see this. This pic is of an Astra dashboard. Note the illuminated warning light. This indicates that your car needs fuel. Most cars have this type of warning light. This is your cars way of telling you to fill the damm thing up.
Attachment 2950
2. You now need to locate a filling station. There are several different brands of fuel available. You can even get fuel for the car at Supermarkets like Tesco/Morrisons/Sainsburys etc. You may even find one thats your favourite colour.
This is a BP
Attachment 2951
This is a Jet station
Attachment 2952
Remember you can use other filling stations, these are just examples so you know what to look for.
3. Once you have driven onto the filling station, drive onto the 'Forecourt' and park next to one of these.
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This is called a 'Fuelpump'
Note there are different coloured hoses. These are not designed to co-ordinate with shoes/bags/car colour etc. They indicate what type of fuel comes out of the hose. There are several different types of fuel available but we will concentrate on the two most common fuels. Diesel(black hose) and petrol (green hose). You can also see on the pump two screens. These show you how much fuel you are putting into your car. The pump also has a number on it. You will need to remember this.
4. Once you have parked next to the 'Fuelpump' get out of the car.
Do NOT stop to do your hair, check your clothing etc etc.
Look for one of these. It could be on either side of the car. afetr doing this 'Filling up' procedure a few times you will remember what side of the car it is on.
Attachment 2954
This is called the 'Fillercap'. You will find it opens quite easily. Beneath it you will find a second cap which you remove.
You then remove the relevant colour of hose from the pump depending on what fuel you car runs on. (You may need to ask a man to help) and place the nozzle into the hole you made by removing the 'Fillercap'.
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You then squeeze the handle to make the fuel go into the car. You can see how much goes in by looking at the screen we mentioned earlier.(note the addition of a glove in this picture to keep 'The horrible stinky stuff' off you hands)
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5. Once you have put the fuel in the car replace the hose on the pump in the same place you got it from,and REPLACE the fuel cap. Then go into the shop to pay.
It may be that you have to queue
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But be patient, it won't take long.
Do NOT buy armfuls of chocolate, cheap tat or 2for1 offers etc whilst queueing.
Once ot the front of the queue, you will see one of these
Attachment 2958
Do not be afraid. It is just the same as the till you will find in TopShop Dorothy Perkins, Next etc etc.
Tell the cashier the number of the pump you used and pay.
It's that easy.
PLEASE DONT FEEL BAD BECAUSE YOU DONT LEAVE THE SHOP WITH A PAIR OF SHOES/NEW TOP/NEW BAG/ ACCESSORIE etc.
Remember the fuel you have paid for is in the car!!
6. Finally return to the car and drive away. DO NOT spend the next 5 minutes checking hair/lipstick/chatting to people in your car/Texting etc etc.
Other people are likely to be behind you waiting to use the pump.
A quick look at the dashboard should show this
Attachment 2959
Note the white needles is no longer in the red section and the little light has gone out.
Your partner will be eternally happy that when he gets into the car he doesnt have to go straight to the filling station to fill the car up.....
WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS EVERY B****Y DAY I GET INTO THE CAR AT THE MOMENT!
(My apologies to the rare breed of women who do fill the car up!!!!!)
PS this is a joke.....!
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Originally Posted by sonicboom
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