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Thread: Little Tony's antics

  1. #1
    Regular Member muffking's Avatar
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    Default Little Tony's antics

    This is a copy & paste from an email I received at work. I've heared some of them before, but you know what they say about the old one.



    LITTLE TONY ON MATHS

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
    shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

    Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.

    There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

    One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
    The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

    The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

    Which one is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
    that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
    wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

    LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)


    Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

    "Why?" asks the father?

    "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies TONY.

    "But that's right!" says his dad.

    "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'"

    "What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father.

    "That's what I said!"

    LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH


    Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
    learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
    multi-syllable word?"

    TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

    Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."



    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

    Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
    All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss
    Jones, I need to take a ****!!"

    The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in
    this situation..
    The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
    Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I wil l allow
    you to go."

    Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
    you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"


    LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
    hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
    twice.

    First, she c alled! on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
    my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

    "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
    Michael.

    "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

    She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
    little TONY.

    "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
    pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!'"

    LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER


    Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
    another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
    "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
    acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

    Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

    The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
    Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own ****ing business

  2. #2
    Regular Member steve.s's Avatar
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    ha ha briliant, very funny.

  3. #3
    On a Sabbatical
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    Quality

    You know what's coming but it still makes you laugh when you read it. Excellent!

  4. #4
    Regular Member ditchp's Avatar
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    Trim : Get a

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    Year : 2006

    Default

    wicked
    Midlands Mod Shop - NFFC.

  5. #5
    Regular Member Vectra_Power's Avatar
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    Excellent!!

  6. #6
    Regular Member addyboy1982's Avatar
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    Nice one!

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