few funnies

[nicj]

*Got the missus a pug dog as a present the other day. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat the dog seems to like her


*My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well," she said, "I've lost a stone. Can you see a difference?"
Ipicked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. "The beach has lost a stone," I said. "Can you see a difference?"

*My mate just said, "What's your favourite mythical creature?"
i said, "Those happy women in Tampax adverts."


*Our neighbour's dog sh!t in our garden so my mum told to me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.

I don't see what that solved, now we've got dog sh!t in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.

[HITFACTORY1403]

l.o.l.

[Z80]

Excellent !

And so realistic, too !

[chewy71]

insomnia?!

[nicj]

insomnia?!

Yes <---- feel sorry for me please

[chewy71]

tons of good movies on that time,... so no!!

[nicj]

tons of good movies on that time,... so no!!

Hmm not on my TV. Its nothing but these super casino crap. You must mean the 10 minute free view films on channel 999 or whatever channel it is? I'm joking

[big jon]

hi nic do the bairns keep you up until the wee small hours or are you trawling the net for jokes?

[nicj]

hi nic do the bairns keep you up until the wee small hours or are you trawling the net for jokes?

Haha no no the boys are 10,8 & 5 and sleep well. If I had no internet I would sleep perfectly well too :/

[Angel1368]

wouldnt mind a look at your internet history lol