Here they come...


* I've tried Sainsbury's and Tesco burgers and I have to say Tesco wins by a nose....

* Never having another one of those Tesco burgers. Gave me the trots.

* I think I had Tesco Horseburger last night by mistake. Never again. Had terrible night mares...

* Stop Press: Traces of zebra found in Tesco barcodes!

* I bet Tesco hate being saddled with this story. Their PR agency must be bridling too. They'll just have to get the bit between their teeth.

* The police are doing door-to-door enquiries about these horse-burgers. They will soon have covered the whole Neigh-bourhood.

* I see absolutely no problem with horsemeat, which is why my mane is so glossy and I'm running in the 3:10 at Kempton.....

* I expect this only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d'oeuvres...

* After having Tesco burgers I used to say that I felt a little horse, now I understand why...

* Gotta admit tho', when disease inevitably hits - 'Crazy Horse' sounds way cooler than 'Mad Cow'...

* So hungry I could eat a horse... Guess I'll go to TESCO....

* A woman has been taken to hospital after eating horsemeatburgers. Her condition is said to be stable.

* Are you in favour of Horsemeat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh?

* Horsemeat has been found in Tesco products but a spokesman says it's ********.

* Those Aldi horseburgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony...

* Scientist: "Sir, we've discovered horsemeat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?"

* There was an old woman who swallowed a horse, she'd been to Tesco, of course...

* Good thing about these horse puns is it's stopped all the sick Jimmy Saddle jokes...



* I took a pack of Tesco burgers to the till – “that’ll be £2.50 said the check out girl” “Is that each way or on the nose?”