The joy of kids!!

**Mrs D** · 16th January 2007, 19:48

Things we learn from having kids.......

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog lead over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject jam sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not lik e ovens.

20. The fire department in Chester has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

**Ian T** · 16th January 2007, 20:29

Looks like you have had your hands full????

I'm suprised your hair hasn't gone grey Louise

I think Chris has been pulling his out though

**Stevel** · 16th January 2007, 23:40

24. Remote control ceiling fan + ten year old + budgie is not good.

**cabbage** · 16th January 2007, 23:52

If you really have suffered all these incidents you need to have a lie down in a quiet darkened room. Maybe you can find time to do that in 15 years time when the kids have grown up. Marbles in the gas tank - I love it!

**Mrs D** · 17th January 2007, 00:15

Originally Posted by cabbage

Maybe you can find time to do that in 15 years time when the kids have grown up.

Unfortunately, they are all teenagers now - I thought the worst was over once the flushing things down the loo and putting stuff in the washing machine had stopped.............they just got bigger and louder instead!!!

**phil_gl** · 18th January 2007, 12:54

25 - Remote control ceiling fan + 10 17 year old rugby players + beer cans full of beer do not mix (well actually they do (eventually) - that was the idea!!!!!)