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Thread: am i being unfair?

  1. #1
    Regular Member Swedge's Avatar
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    Default am i being unfair?

    ok so heres the story

    i split up with my ex just before my son turned 1, he is 4 in may

    i had to do all the court stuff to get to see him, ive always paid my maintenance without fault

    i used to work 3 on off nightshifts and i used to get my son my middle day and last day off which was fine

    ive been changed to 5 days a week now, back-early-nights

    she was complaining she never gets to see him much as she works and either my mum or her mum watches him if ive not got him

    i now get him for 2 nights every fortnight now, im not happy with this as my court letter states 1x 24 hour period in a week not 1x 48 hour period a fortnight, to save a huge arguement i agreed to it

    now im goin back onto 3 on 3 off nightshifts early next year and she says she wants to stick to the once a fortnight 48 hour period but only on weekends?

    because ill be working 3 on 3 off ill be working 1 full weekend a month which would mean i would only get him 48 hours A MONTH!

    ive told her if she tries this i will take her back to court

    am i being selfish or anything as i dont think i am?

    i only want to see my son for a reasonable time at a reasonable frequency

  2. #2
    Regular Member Signum-Steve's Avatar
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    Default

    Its not about what you or your ex wants its all about your child. Any child needs both parents in their lives wherever possible. I would stick by your guns and see you little one as much as you possibly can. Reverting back to the system which gives the most time. However having said this you need to maintain this as chopping and changing all of the time will not be good for the child!

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    Regular Member Swedge's Avatar
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    Default

    yeah i see what your saying but once im back on 12's thats me for good

    ive tried explaining to her thats its our son im thinking of but its like a brick wall

    i dont want to have to take her to court again but my lax she is not keeping up with the courts orders

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    Regular Member Signum-Steve's Avatar
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    Default

    Its a tough one mate, all you can do is try and talk sense to here. You will both have separate lives now so whats good for you may not be good for her.
    She might also be thinking that you might change back and forth to suit. you need to re-assure her that its for the long term, giving your child the structure he needs. Which is regular set contact.

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    Regular Member Swedge's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Signum-Steve View Post
    Its a tough one mate, all you can do is try and talk sense to here. You will both have separate lives now so whats good for you may not be good for her.
    She might also be thinking that you might change back and forth to suit. you need to re-assure her that its for the long term, giving your child the structure he needs. Which is regular set contact.
    honestly mate ive tried and tried and tried to talk to her about it and all i get is deal with it, thats why i took her to court in the first place

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    Regular Member Signum-Steve's Avatar
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    Default

    Look like your stuck between a rock and a hard place here....!.All I can say is do what you think is best for your son first and then yourself. Stuff the rest, be there for ya son whenever possible and if that means you need to ruffle a few feathers then so be it.

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    Regular Member john norris's Avatar
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    Default

    no thats not unreasonable infact im surprised they havent given you more time

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    Regular Member Swedge's Avatar
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    Default

    tbh i was happy enough with the 2 days a week, its alot more than some get

    anyway how can i train him as my apprentice?


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    Default

    Haha, Women just turn stupid after a baby, I'm going through hell with my ex at the moment, (if that makes you feel better lol)

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    Default

    I think your approach in this matter is sound and open, and to be honest I do agree with your side that you want regular frequent access to see your son. I "feel" your partner is the one being unreasonable in this not you, however it does seem as though it is going to be the courts who decide, and that, as you already know is costly.

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