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Thread: Fact or Fiction?

  1. #1
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Wink Fact or Fiction?

    1.* Marriages* are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.*****

    2.* After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin… they can’t face each* other, but, they still stay together.*****

    3.* Married* life is very frustrating.* In the first year* of marriage, the man speaks and the woman* listens.* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they* both speak and the neighbours listen..*****

    4. When a* man opens the door of his car for his wife, you* canbe sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.*****

    5.* Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which* one.*****

    6.* Before* marriage, a man will lie awake all night* thinking about something she says. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finish.*****

    7.* Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.*******

    8.* They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before* marriage, that is LOVE. After marriage, that is SELF DEFENSE.*****

    9.* A wife becomes a “SEX OBJECT” when every time the* husband asks for sex she objects!*******

    10.* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.*******

    11.* There* are two* four-letter words that are offensive to men in marriage : “don’t” and* “stop”,* unless, they are used together (“don’t stop”).

    12.* Marriage* is an institution where the man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s* Degree.

    13.* In* marriage, a man can have words with his wife, but, a woman can have paragraphs with her* husband.

    14.* Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

    15.* There* are 3 stages of SEX in a married life: Tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.

    16.* LOVE is a* long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.

    17.* When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

    18.* Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence … a LIFE SENTENCE.

  2. #2
    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    O so true
    Driving vauxhall,s for 30 + years
    and still loving it

  3. #3
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    love it

  4. #4
    Regular Member BBMadness's Avatar
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    As a divorcee so true

  5. #5
    Regular Member Ben50n's Avatar
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    Oh so bitter Nicj??

  6. #6
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    So so true....

  7. #7
    Regular Member VVT-i-MATT's Avatar
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    Yup, totally agree....



    ...."coming dear"....

  8. #8
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben50n View Post
    Oh so bitter Nicj??
    yes! Is it that obvious? (joke)

  9. #9
    Regular Member fistymus's Avatar
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    Related methinks

    Man Rules
    Now here are the rules from the male side
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us..
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we...
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings..
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear..
    1. When we have to go somewhere in a rush, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...

  10. #10
    Regular Member nicj's Avatar
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    Yes fistymus & that is exactly why I'm not married, never have been & its not on my list of "Things to do before I die"

    Men can't live with them, can't live without them

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