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Thread: Passport Letter

  1. #1
    Regular Member John Bishop's Avatar
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    Default Passport Letter

    ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER ----- HILARIOUS!

    This apparently is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office.

    Dear Sirs,
    ...

    I am in the process of renewing my passport, and I still cannot believe the type of information you require.

    How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 2004, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was ****** born and on what date.

    For Heavenís sake, do you people do this by hand? My birth date is on my pension book, and itís on all the income tax forms I've ever filed. Itís on my National Health card, my driving licence, my car insurance, even the last five damn passports I've had to renew and on all those stupid Customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 odd years, and, believe it or not, itís even on all those insufferable census forms!

    Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name was Mary Anne, my father's name was Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

    I'm really ****ed off this morning and between you an' me, I've had enough of this bull****! You post the application to my house, THEN you ask me for my ****** address!!!!

    What is going on?? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there?

    Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't WANT to go and dig up Yasser Arafat for Goodness sake.

    I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.

    And would someone please tell me, why would you give a toss whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last people I'd want to tell!

    Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to the other side of this poxy city to get another ****** copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.

    Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that would be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You would rather have us running all over the soddin place like chickens with our heads cut off.

    Then I have to find some idiot to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic morons).

    Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're all so totally ****ed off with the whole frigginí performance!

    Signed

    Mr. ---------------



    An Irate Citizen

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    North West Regional Organiser paulvectrac's Avatar
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    Lmao quality
    Vectra vxr custome remaps egr deletes dpf and diagnostic work all remaps are custome bench tuning avalible all genuine equipment PM for info

  3. #3
    Regular Member david-bell's Avatar
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    So true as well

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