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Thread: Punography

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Signum

    Trim : Elite

    Engine : 3.2 v6

    Year : 2004

    Mileage : 110,000

    Default Punography

    I do not enjoy computer jokes . Not one bit.

    I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

    When chemists die, they barium.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore .

    A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

    Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

    Energizer battery arrested. Charged with battery.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds.

    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

    Velcro - what a rip off!

    Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy.

    Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

    Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

    I used t think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

    Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  2. #2
    Regular Member bigboynigs's Avatar
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    Default

    sounds like a Milton Jones sketch.............Very funny as long as you can keep up


    Another of his..........

    "Used to have a job as a forensic anthropologist, while investigating we thought we had found a mass snowman grave.........................



    ............turned out to be a field of carrots"

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