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Thread: One or two to offer a Monday laugh

  1. #1
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Default One or two to offer a Monday laugh

    The wife suggested I get myself one of those ***** enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

    Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for
    half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me
    with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot."

    Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ? 17% said yes;11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."

    The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

    A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says,
    "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

    I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
    reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

    My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to the Salvation Army store to get all of her clothes back.

    I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
    children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

    The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

  2. #2
    Full Member bobssignum's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Signum 2.0 DTi

    Trim : Elegance/Elite

    Engine : 2.0DTi

    Year : 2003

    Mileage : 73350

    Default

    A few goodies there
    Driving vauxhall,s for 30 + years
    and still loving it

  3. #3
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Vehicle : Signum

    Trim : Elite

    Engine : 3.2 v6

    Year : 2004

    Mileage : 110,000

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    Nice ones derek
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

  4. #4
    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Default

    Thought you especially might like them John

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