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Thread: Duz tha speak Yorkshire ?

  1. #1
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Default Duz tha speak Yorkshire ?

    A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
    Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
    Vet: “Is it a tom?”
    Yorkshireman: “Nay, I've browt it with us.”
    .................................................. ...................................

    A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
    Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
    Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
    Yorkshireman: “No, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft ******!”
    .................................................. ..................................


    A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it.
    He calls the stonemason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.
    True to his word the stonemason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
    When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved “She were thin.”
    He explodes, “ ’ells bells, man, you've left the ****** “e” out, you've left the ****** “e” out!”
    The stonemason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
    Next day the widower returns to the stonemason, “There you go, sir, I've put the “e” on the stone for you.”
    The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:

    “E, she were thin…”
    .................................................. .................................

    Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, “Nah then, lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
    Chemist replies, “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?”





    .................................................. ..................................




    Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in Yorkshire nightclubs.
    Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
    Police say the dangerous practice is called “E by gum”.





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  2. #2
    Regular Member hairy31's Avatar
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    Default

    .............................

  3. #3
    Regular Member Ziggy's Avatar
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    Lol

  4. #4
    Regular Member BigWilko's Avatar
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    I don't get it? are these supposed to be jokes?

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    i'll let you northeners fight your own battles with the caledonians

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    Regular Member sristeven1's Avatar
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    lol

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    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Aye lad! Say what I like and I like what a boomin well say as like

    A cracking set John, loved when I lived in South Yorkshire top quality people

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    Regular Member rushy's Avatar
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  9. #9
    VIP-Member Johnsdutton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derek Mc View Post
    Aye lad! Say what I like and I like what a boomin well say as like

    A cracking set John, loved when I lived in South Yorkshire top quality people

    Cheers Derek.
    Are you going to the Loch Lomond meet? I am hoping to do it, but starting new job and don't know shift patterns yet, so will be a last minute decision.
    3.2 v6 Signum and loving it

    http://www.freewebs.com/johnsdutton/

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    Regular Member Derek Mc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnsdutton View Post
    Cheers Derek.
    Are you going to the Loch Lomond meet? I am hoping to do it, but starting new job and don't know shift patterns yet, so will be a last minute decision.
    I am second day in to a refit in Dundee so sadly not, plus I think the joiners are going to lead me astray Saturday night at Fat Sams

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