WIFE:........... " There's trouble with the car.
It has water in the carburettor. "
HUSBAND:........... " Water in the carburettor ?
That's ridiculous. "
WIFE:................ " I tell you the car has water in the carburettor. "
HUSBAND:........... " You don't even know what a carburettor is.
I'll check it out. Where's the car? "
WIFE:............ " In the river . "
Two drivers met.
"Hey," asked one,
"what's the idea of painting one side of your car red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded,
"when I get into an accident ,
you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
One day a father was driving with his 4 year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'AR5E HOLE!' afterwards!"
Whats black and white and red all over ? A nun in a car accident.
You know all that talk about backseat driving?
Well, I've been driving all my life and can safely say that I've never heard a word from the back seat.
What kind of car do you drive?
Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with rust .
Dealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free.
We didn't charge you for it, did we ???
Personally, I like to stay and read the credits at the cinema .
When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits , I shouted:
"Quick !!! ,
There are only enough cars in the car park for half of us!"